When The Word is ‘Bitch’
Friday, February 10th, 2006When do you know the line has been crossed over?
Does a word make a difference?
What does the word ‘Bitch’ really mean?
Why am I even bringing this up?
Over the past week, besides catching the cold virus, I had to settle a little ruckus that broke out over a stupid thing. A book. The book in question-a ring bound red book that belonged to Mr Nice Guy. The book is not even kept in a good condition but it had ALL the answers to our lab exercises and thus, it was like a ’secret manual’ you know, the kind you always see people backstab, cheat and kill over in a HK drama serial.
So this indian classmate(whom I’ll refer to as Py) of mine demanded the book from my friend B (who had borrowed from Nice Guy). DEMANDED. B explained that he needed to copy from it first…..he has not finished. So Py demanded that B handed the book over during our lab session later in the afternoon. No ‘please’, no questions about whether or not Nice Guy even allowed it or if B could even finish copying it. She demanded.
Afternoon at the Lab session: Py went up to B again, and again, she demanded. B had not finished copying yet and in his B way of handling the rejection, he tried to explain to Py that it was not possible to lend it to her yet. So Py started becoming irrational and kicking up a fuss and etc. B finally offered his own book (since Nice Guy was not THAT willing to lend his book to Py actually). Py made even more fuss(not even hearing his explaination and kept insisting that B is reneging on a promise-which, I might add, he did not make) So pissed, B let loose his tongue and the word ‘Bitch’ came out. Almost instantly, Py went ballistic and called for our class attention to highlight it. Then she threatened to complain to our Mentor. Of course, since B was in my group I had to make sure THAT never happened. And knowing B’s temper, Py would have found herself complaining about more than the use of a word. I went over, tried to pacify Py who was, bringing in cultural insult and blah blah (as if ONLY HER culture deplored the use of that word) and that she would not have minded if he called her a dog or blah blah. When that failed (I was tempted to ask her to simply F-off the whole blardy course if she was not happy about her treatment) I had to ask B to apologise, swallow his pride and make peace. Also to seize the opportunity to make Py look bad if she refused his apology. Thankfully, he accepted my explaination and apologised. Py was tearing and blah blah…milking it further and thankfully Mel (our class leader) stepped in and insisted Py accepted the apology. It helped that Mel had a ‘don’t give me anymore shit to deal with this week-I just had braces put into my mouth’ look.
So, that settled. But what bothered me was the fact that nobody insisted Py had to apologise. I thought that Py owed B an apology for the way she behaved as much as he did. Yes, he used the word ‘Bitch’ on her but, I was close to using it on her a few times the last semester too. Her behaviour itself, throughout the semester has actually left much to be questioned about her sincerity and willingness to even cooperate with the rest of us. Sadly, I was not brave enough to confront her with it except B did and he had to apologise for it. True, it is thought to be a derogatory word. I would not like it if someone used it on me especially no matter if it was in jest, and if I knew that my actions did not justify it. I would make clear that I did not like names being called but I would also look at myself and think if I had behaved in such a way to make someone else to do that.
But really, Bitch=female dog. It is not really an insulting word when used on a dog. It does not even describe any immoral action or thing. BUT a female dog. Does such an analogy-to be linked to a female dog, really makes a person look so bad? Does it? Why is being called a ‘Bitch’ such an insult as compared to being called a ‘dog’? Have we allowed stereotype to interfere in the way we view animals as well? Is a female dog any weaker than a male dog? Is it any dirtier than a male dog? Are they stupider than other animals? No.
So why have we selected any particular word to be such an insult?
If I was B, I would have called Py a ‘Pig’ and a ‘Snake’ instead. Because it suited her actions and behaviour thus far.
